"I was told when I get older all my fears would shrink But now I'm insecure and I care what people think"
Twenty One Pilots just summarized my life for a brief moment there.
Growing up, becoming an adult, being an adult, facing walls, facing fears, not taken seriously, sick of nostalgia, stressed out, lack of security, alone, individualism, years flying away in days, responsibility, seriousness, no games anymore, deadlines, ups and extreme downs, no help, age, growing old, already in your twenties, fear for future, life sucks, growing up ... SUCKS.
So, that being said:
Hello, I'm a twenty-two year old woman (for a moment I still wanted to say 'girl' and just realized I can't say this anymore. 'You're twenty-two for Lord's sake, grow up').
I'm still studying and will continue studying for the following two years.
I'm not ready to work.
1. I'm scared of the hard, outside work world
2. I can't say goodbye to this freedom. After this all. is. gone. for. ever.
3. Yes, I'm exaggerating, let me be, please.
4. What if I still don't know what to do in the following 71 years? I do not have a plan.
5. Own hous, babies, dogs, taxes, paying, money, bills ... I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS!
Being a child is the most secure and most beautiful time of a human's life. No worries at all. Thoughtlessness is freedom. You don't have to think about anything except if your teddybear is still loving you or if your friend still wants to play with you. Creativity, imagination and a playful colourful dream world are at their highest points. Purely heavenly times.
And then comes growing up in a superfast rush. Before you are able to notice the change, you are a twenty-something. There you are: dropped in a world you don't know and people who say: time to handle it all by yourself. No helping hand of mum and dad. Survive, go on, you just need to find your way.
WHAT THE FUZZ? Why in Obama's name are young adults left to their lot? I continuously live in trial and error. Why didn't anyone give me some warning of this freaky world for twenty-something's?
We are dropped without a notice beforehand. Is there a user's instruction guide? Because I freaking need it, right now!
"Wish we could turn back time, to the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep but now we're stressed out Wish we could turn back time, to the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep but now we're stressed out"
Yesterday I realized I can't do the laundry.
Yes, I know you can't mix coloured and non-coloured clothing. (I'm not that stupid although I sometimes get this feeling from older adults who already know how life works but find it so much fun to keep us in ignorance. Still couldn't laugh about that joke, sorry.)
But back to the washing ...
Why on earth are there so much fabrics in the world? And those symbols, what about those?
I tried to wash one time: after I read each symbol of each piece of clothing, searched the meaning of each symbol on each piece of clothing on the Internet, sorted out the coloured and non-coloured clothes, find the appropriate detergent, investigated each button on the washing machine and finally found the right programme to wash ... it was the longest day in my life.
And you have to do this EVERY SINGLE DAY?!
*sigh*
Adulthood is hard. Everyone knows it.
And still, why isn't there someone who explains us this?
'You learn from your mistakes.'
Yes, true that, but not if the society forces you to become the new Einstein and holds expectations who are so silly it makes me laugh from misery.
'Achieving the highest diploma with mind blowing results, working full time while having six children, a cat, two dogs and a frog, living in a self-built house, having an expensive car and still being able to go on a holiday to Australia. Such an easy life. You have so much free time, why are you so stressed out then?'
Seriously, society? Ever heard of REALISTIC LIFE EXPECTATIONS?
You're not nearly there. Nope.
Try again.
Another thing: the expectations of teachers at higher education . Wonderful how they sympathize with us, young adults. Deadlines, such a fun game!
'Work 'till you drop nearly dead and just go with the flow because sorry, we were too lazy to explain each task in a proper language so you could understand what to do. Figure it out!'
Fun, so much fun! All this responsibility and freedom. Couldn't be greater.
Please, teachers, understand that we are in the most insecure moment of our lives. We are in fear of what is coming. We don't know if what we do makes any sense.
HOLD IT THERE!
Adulthood isn't all doom and gloom. It's also precious and mysteriously interesting.
We discover so much:
from finally finding you significant other, realizing who your truest friends are, the excitement of searching for your own place (bye bye mum, YOLO!), finally making your own choices without having someone holding you down, partying 'till dawn, freedom, the longing for starting your independent life with still some great memories from the past, deeper feelings, important decisions, planning your life like you wanted, a diploma, your own freaking place to live (yes, it's YOURS ONLY) ...
Adulthood is strange and scary. At this moment it can make me sick and tired. But we need to struggle further on and keep on supporting each other so long as the 'real' adults keep on ignoring our worrying.
We can do this!
LotsOfLove,
MJ