Speaking of the weather, the rain found Belgium again after so many months. We have been priviliged with beautiful weather, not only during Summer but even now during Autumn (not quite Autumnish weather, but I am not complaining). But yeah, this is not what this post will be about, although the rain can help to feel even more under the weather.
No, what I actually want to talk to you about today is about really feeling burnt out, feeling overwhelmed and tired of everything. Tired of pressure, opinions of people you don't even know and social ideals. Because that is life at the moment and this weekend I was just so frustrated about this that I just wanted to shout out to the world: STOP THIS PLEASE! But, of course this wasn't a great idea to actually do, so I decided to write it all down, here.
The reason I got frustrated with the society we live in, is because of some situations/images/opinions that caught my eye last week and this week.
As most of us, I have an account on Instagram (which I keep private) and I love the medium for the way people can share their inspirations, but also their opinions and how the medium is somehow grown into a place to open your mouth to the world. Which is great and which is a good step forward.
Although a lot of people dare to finally open up about the raw reality of life on social media (especially famous people), which I praise, the opposite is also happening. Sadly enough people's voices on social media are harder, in both positive and negative ways. Pure strangers therefore dare to criticize others without a tiny feeling of regret, because 'freedom of speech everywhere'. But on social media, it's a harsh blow in your face.
I would like to sum up some examples which were striking for me and which deal mostly with mental health.
First of all, we all feel sometimes overwhelmed and imperfect. As if no one understands us and we feel we are a sad little crier who doesn't deserve to cry (because why cry if life is great? Why are we complaining?). Exactly that feeling is what Julie Van Den Steen, Flemish radio DJ at MNM radio station, felt.
Last week she was a guest in a Flemish talkshow talking about how she does not love herself and her body 'although she lost a huge amount of weight'. I perfectly understood her while others would think: she is young, beautiful, popular, role model, skinny ... then why on earth should she complain?
Because of her appearance on the show, she received a lot of messages on Instagram. So she posted a picture of herself with a bunch of text beneath almost apologizing for saying how she felt.
Honestly? I got really cross at people on that moment. And usually I never comment on pictures of famous people which in reality are strangers to you, but somehow I could not hold back and for the first time I posted a comment beneath Julie's picture (note: it's in Dutch!):
And this was only the beginning. Other situations followed in which I did not want to hold back anymore, because I was fed up with all this negativity, improvident, short-sighted, naive and narrow minded opinions of people who did not think before they spoke. And how mental health is such a big issue, but instead of speaking about it constantly, no one reveals what it is exactly to feel bad and how NORMAL this is. Because really, society is only dealing with mental health as if it's a disease. And I utterly hate it.
So yeah, yesterday I again wrote a comment on a post of a vlogger I am following on Youtube. She was honest about feeling burnt out and overwhelmed while she felt that it was not accepted for her to feel this way since her job is 'just vlogging while she stays at home'. Again someone who opened up and apologized about not feeling herself and asking time to recover. The fire in me AGAIN fired away. And this is what I commented:
Especially the last sentence of my comment is something I feel very very strongly about. Not feeling good mentally is just human. It's impossible to always feel energetic, right, happy and joyful. That's some rubbish society tells us to do because dealing with people who feel bad, oh oh, that's not something they can deal with. The pressure society puts on our heads does also not contribute to a better atmosphere to be human.
So giving yourself some mental rest is the normalest of things on this earth.
And okay, I am now saying this as if I'm the expert, but to be honest, I have come from very far. I learned a lot because of life, people who helped me dealing with mental health, learning to listen to my body and learning to accept myself in what I can and cannot do. I'm learning to love myself more and putting myself on number one, before others ('cause it has been, and still is mostly the other way around).
Last, but certainly not least, I also commented on a picture about chronic diseases. Since also this is taboo to talk about. People with chronic diseases or auto-immune diseases do not look ill from the outside, so speaking about it is as if you are only looking for attention for something that does not seem so bad when it actually is really bad and tough to live with.
To end this post, I would like everyone to be more kind towards mental health. Yes, it seems to be 'the disease of the 21st century', but it's so important and it affects more and more (young) people. For me, the big alarm bell should sound horrifying by now and somehow this is not. The only thing happening is saying it is there and criticize it. I'm a bit fed up with it, as you could notice in this post. I am not the person to put my voice loudly out there for everyone to hear and yet, I did. Because it's necessary to say what is right and not what the pressure wants us to say (namely apologizing for feeling overwhelmed). We are all humans, ones more sensitive than others, not working well under pressure but sadly enough, that pressure is there and confronts us with ourselves. The logical consequence is dealing with emotions we have never felt before and yet, these emotions are so so so normal.
So, if you are feeling under the weather, like so many people and like myself sometimes, do not forget you are in no way abnormal. You are just a normal human being. And if anyone dares to say the opposite, remember they are the ones who are abnormal. It's everyone's right to be real, badly and well. So big praise for those I mentioned for being utterly honest about how they feel. I am proud.
PS: This song of Shawn Mendes explains, for me, perfectly how I feel when I have a bad mental day/period. I just wanted to share it with you, because a lot of my tears have been cried listening to it.
Next time I will give you my tips and tricks I use for feeling better when I feel down, overwhelmed, critized by myself and stressed. I hope they can help you too!
See you then!
Lots of love,
MJ